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So
you wonder what it’s like to play music for a living.
A
Typical Gig on New Year’s Eve and it's all True:
First you
download the directions from map quest - very reliable but you still get lost.
Luckily you
thought to leave three hours before start time, never mind the 75 mile drive
(one way).
Thanks to cell
phones, you can call others in the band for directions. They followed the same instructions you gave
and they're already there!
The gig turns
out to be for 30 people. You showed up with
‘dangerously unregulated’ sound capacity. The venue is in
a neighborhood with no streetlights and it’s dark when you
unload. It’s a short
load-in, but the path is covered with three inches of gravel
(Chattahoochee).
The carts can’t roll …they drag… and
create pretty fair sized trenches.
Suddenly you
feel something sticks to the bottom of your shoe. You think
it’s a bit of clinging gravel… but no, the heel of your left
shoe has began to crumble. Bits of your shoe are strewn on the
sidewalk behind. Oh my! It's NYE! You’re still off-loading the gear and
the gravel sticks to the underside of your newly absent heel.
You think “How could this happen? They were fine when I left
the house!” You think… "At least it’s only the one shoe!"
Then you discover you’re no longer walking lopsided because the other shoe has gone too!
You leave a black powdery trail everywhere you travel and straight through the
residence as well.
All night.
Everyone in the
crowd speaks German and they ‘sank you’ effusively. They ask if you can start 35
ms early. “Sure no problem,”
you say, “just let us finish bringing in the gear.” On the
next load you find your cell phone on the floor
and you never saw it fall. It happens.
The band starts without you because you’re not tuned. You jack-in
and suddenly discover a power supply has gone bad. There’s no
choice but to do the gig without this effect pedal. There’s no
power and only the
wrong battery. If only you still had your shoes...?
The first set
is 90 minutes long and the keyboard mic still ain’t workin’!
You
don’t know some tunes and try to read. But the wind keeps blowing the
chart off the stand. Party streamers have littered the floor.
You see them at your feet and come to realize that if this gig
doesn’t end soon you’ll be standing in a trash pile of
powdered shoe.
The
dance floor is
very small and the same guest bangs into the head stock of your
guitar repeatedly. It’s like standing on a cutting board while someone
chops a salad! A short speech follows and you stand around awkwardly while everyone
laughs or sighs. Pretty soon you just start to join in
the applause. Momentary panic ensues when a few guys threaten to
heave a woman and her chair into the pool. The splash would have
drenched the band completely especially the keys!
The crowd loves
the band! You finish having played 35 minutes overtime for free. You
thank the crowd and play the final tune, then someone comes up to request “I
Left my Heart in San Francisco.”
During the load
out you find a speaker stand has lodged inside the speaker
bottom and it won’t come out. Three trips later you’re out
the door. It’s now1:40 am
and you still have to drive 75 miles to get home.
PS
- Everyone adoreD the flute player.
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